Post by arie on Mar 31, 2007 10:02:45 GMT -5
Chapter 1: Integrity
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"Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts, and will always bear up against falsehood, as oil does above water." Miguel de Cervantes.
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"Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts, and will always bear up against falsehood, as oil does above water." Miguel de Cervantes.
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In the visitor’s lounge of a MedStar that orbited the planet of Belderone, Anakin Skywalker approached a thoughtful Obi-Wan Kenobi.
“Fa’ale seems to be doing well,” Anakin said, and Obi-Wan nodded slowly. “The healers say after a few more days of bacta, she’ll be fine.”
Fa’ale Leh was a Lethan female, discovered by Obi-Wan and Anakin on the upper floor of a bar, on Naos III. They had been pursuing a lead as to finding the identity of the ever elusive Darth Sidious, tipped off first by a mechno-chair, accidentally left forgotten by the Viceroy Nute Gunray in the Battle of Cato Neimodia. Lethans were similar to the Twi’leks, and in an attempted assassination that was luckily foiled by the two Jedi, Fa’ale, known on world as Genne, had been hit by a blaster bolt which severed her right lekku. After that, she had been most cooperative to give the Jedi the answers they were seeking. She told them to look for a certain building in an area of Coruscant called The Works.
Anakin smiled and continued, “I don’t think she plans to go back to Naos III, though. She’ll probably stay here for awhile.”
Obi-Wan gazed up into the face of his former apprentice and was struck again, just as every time he took a good look at Anakin, how much he had changed. The war had changed his once carefree and boyish Padawan, developing an older, more skilled Jedi that reminded Obi-Wan a lot of Qui-Gon. Anakin’s demeanor had become more serious and his eyes showed a maturity that was beyond his years. And still, in the midst of a battle, Anakin managed to crack a smile that brought back the fondest of memories. And then, Obi-Wan would laugh alongside his closest friend, for it had been Anakin himself that had taught Obi-Wan to laugh, and to loosen his almost always rigidly focused mind. Over time, Obi-Wan had realized that Yoda was right to say, “Come, the greatest lessons do, when a Master a Jedi becomes.”
Anakin eyed his Master, curious as to just what he was thinking of. Obi-Wan smiled. “You know, Anakin, your relationship with women in most intriguing. The more danger they are in, the more you worry for them. And the more you do that, the more they worry for you.”
Anakin’s heart skipped a beat as an image of Padme floated before his eyes. He pushed it back with a sigh. He had recently been plagued with visions of her that he dared not relive. The only thing he could make of them was the fact that he should be at his wife’s side, because she needed him now more than ever.
With a frown, Anakin replied, “What exactly are you basing this on, Master?”
Obi-Wan averted his gaze. “Holonet rumors and such.”
Then, he knew that Anakin could tell something was up. Indeed there was something on Obi-Wan’s mind that he almost dreaded to tell Anakin, news of their next move.
Anakin was just as perceptive as Obi-wan had predicted. He placed himself in front of Obi-Wan and said. “Something’s wrong.”
With a sigh, Obi-Wan said, “We will not be returning to Coruscant.”
Anakin stared at Obi-Wan, lost as to the reason. They had both been expecting to go back after receiving info that shifted the lead to Coruscant. With a deep sigh, Anakin thought, Padme….
Obi-Wan continued, “Mace and Shaak Ti followed our information to locate the building Fa’ale mentioned in The Works. They found possible evidence of a recent visit by Dooku and the person he apparently went to see.”
Anakin frowned. “Darth Sidious?”
“It’s very possible, Anakin. If not, this is very essential to finding a way to bring the rest of the Confederacy which will eventually lead to Sidious.”
Anakin nodded. “I understand that, Master. I still don’t understand how this keeps us from returning to Coruscant”
Obi-Wan sighed. “Because, Anakin, I’ve just received word that we have another engagement to handle.”
Anakin cocked an eyebrow.
“The Separatists have been so bold as to attack a Republic garrison on Tythe. They now occupy the planet.”
Anakin shook his head. “The attack may have caused the loss of some of our troopers, but Tythe is a wasteland, Master.”
Obi-Wan nodded, “But Anakin, not all will go to waste.”
Anakin looked at Obi-Wan closely. “Grievous? Is he on Tythe?”
Obi-Wan smiled. “No. Even better. Dooku is there.”
Anakin appeared to be thinking. Finally, he said, “I still don’t think that is a good enough reason. We are the ones who discovered the clues, why must we be dumped into another battle when we should be the ones to confront Sidious?”
“Sidious may not even be there, Anakin,” Obi-Wan pointed out.
Anakin looked up toward the ceiling and gave a frustrated sigh. “We could capture Sidious, Master. I know we could. We’re both so much stronger. We could defeat any Sith.”
Obi-Wan replied, “I am quite confident in our abilities too. But why not use them against Dooku and let Mace and Shaak Ti handle Sidious?”
Anakin sighed again. “Because, Master, we’ve been working hard on this for a long time. We almost deserve to be the ones to do it.”
Obi-Wan laid a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “If this is about getting a seat on the Council…”
Anakin shook his head quickly, “I don’t care about the Council! The people of Coruscant are counting on us.”
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. “To do what? Anakin, have you had a vision you need to tell me about?”
Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, thinking of how to reply. Finally he said, “The truth is, I just want to go home. Call me selfish, but I do. We’ve been out here longer than any of the other Jedi.”
Obi-Wan looked at Anakin thoughtfully. “We have been gone for a long time- but that’s what you get for being so good.” He had hoped this would cheer him up.
Anakin sighed. “I’m tired of it. All of it.”
Obi-Wan wasn’t sure exactly what to say. “You miss the Temple that much, Anakin? You miss Coruscant?”
Anakin nodded. “I do.”
“Is this about going home, or capturing Sidious then?”
Anakin’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Both.”
He and Obi-Wan sat in silence for a few moments, as Obi-Wan put into words what he was thinking. “Anakin…” he started. “You miss her, don’t you? You miss Padme.”
Anakin didn’t answer right away. He didn’t move either. He seemed to be formulating a reply. Then he swallowed and said, “I can’t lie to you, Master. Telling you that I don’t miss her would be a lie.”
Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Anakin, it can’t be good for you to miss her in that way…”
Anakin’s eyes met his. “On the contrary, Obi-Wan, I think quite the opposite. Padme is what keeps me fighting. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have her to fight for.”
Obi-Wan mulled this over, and then replied, “But, Anakin, this is still attachment...”
“Don’t start…” Anakin said, tired. “I’m sorry. Master, but I can’t listen to that anymore. I know that attachment is forbidden for a reason, but that doesn’t change the way I feel.”
Obi-Wan forced a smile. “You never were one for following the rules, were you?”
Anakin felt a sudden chill settle in his chest. “No, Master.” More than you know, he thought.
Obi-Wan watched his friend and sensed a sort of distress emanating around his presence. His mind clouded over with concern and he smiled gently. “Anakin, I know these past few months have been hard on you. We’ll go back soon, I promise you. I grow tired of this war, and I worry about you and the pressure you are under. But I’m so very proud of you for what your experiences have molded you into. I know you’ll always pull through and be ready for the next task, whatever you face, because you have become the Jedi I could never dream of becoming.”
Anakin, for reasons beyond Obi-Wan’s knowledge, suddenly looked overwhelmingly sad. The power of his former Master’s words left him in a fog of guilt. He turned to Obi-Wan, wondering if what he thought he might be about to do was the right thing.
“Master, I….,” he started, but no words came. Obi-wan waited, his eyes regarding Anakin with patience and curiosity. Anakin tried again. “I….please, don’t waste such words on me. I’m not who you think I am.”
His voice was bitter. Obi-Wan was startled but this response, which was obviously not mere modesty. “Anakin, whatever would make you believe that?”
Anakin sighed, attempting to release the tension within him. He thought of Padme, the image so vivid in his mind, that it felt as if a part of her was with him.
My love, he thought, Maybe this is for the best.
He was struggling to find the words to tell his friend the truth, but to no avail. He started, “Obi-Wan, you’ve been nothing but loyal to me, but I…..” his voice trailed off, suddenly distant, far away.
Obi-Wan’s eyes didn’t leave Anakin. He was about to say something, but Anakin spoke again.
“I…I haven’t been a brother to you, Obi-Wan. I’ve betrayed you, betrayed all of the Jedi and for that I deserve no sympathy.”
“Anakin, what do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked, for it hurt him to see his friend in such a state. Anakin allowed himself to slide into a seated position, leaning against the wall.
Obi-Wan knelt down to look into Anakin’s eyes. “Anakin, you know you can tell me anything.”
Anakin felt his heart lurch and he nodded sadly. “I know, Master. I’ve always known. That’s why I must set things right……I only wish I had listened to my true feelings and believed that in the first place. But this is my chance, Master. I can’t keep secrets from you anymore.”
Obi-Wan was quite perturbed as to what Anakin was leading into. Anakin turned to look toward Fa’ale’s med room. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t find it in me to tell you a long time ago……it’s just….I was scared. Not for me, but for us.”
Obi-Wan frowned. “Tell me what, Anakin?”
Anakin smiled sadly. “I love Padme with every bit of life in me. Without her, I don’t think I could live. She’s everything to me.”
It was Obi-Wan’s turn to sigh. “I know.”
Silence hung over the two Jedi like a toxic cloud.
Finally words found their way into Obi-Wan’s mouth. “I’m sorry it has to be this way, Anakin. You must be under a lot of pressure.”
Anakin’s smile remained hauntingly sad. “I know what your thinking, Master. I know the Jedi Code is concrete and attachment is prohibited. I know all of this, and yet I feel so powerless.”
Obi-Wan watched as Anakin’s face turned to him, full of unease. His eyes pleaded with Obi-Wan to understand. “Please, Obi-Wan, as a friend, tell me what to do…. for once, imagine there is no lightsaber clipped to your belt. I don’t need any more Jedi teachings. I need your help, but not the help of a Jedi Master, the help of a very good friend.”
Anakin’s words moved Obi-Wan, and he found himself nodding. “Anakin, tell me what is bothering you….”
Anakin turned away in shame. “It’s Padme, Obi-Wan. There is a lot more to…us….than you think.”
Obi-Wan’s breath caught in his throat.
Anakin shook his head. “I should have told you three years ago……”
Obi-Wan didn’t move. He waited.
Anakin continued a rush of emotion. “She is……..my wife.”
Two simple words. But these two words were enough to get Obi-Wan’s mind spinning. No…..Anakin and Padme…married….but…. He spoke the end of his though aloud. “But…..how?
Anakin looked horrified at Obi-Wan’s reaction, but continued, knowing there was no stopping now. “Right after Geonosis….we were married….on Naboo. We’ve been living a lie for years since the war began.”
The words sounded so confused, so lost. But Obi-Wan couldn’t possibly find the words to reply. He was shocked, but not disgusted, and knew Anakin had expected him to be very disappointed in what he’d done. And that’s when Obi-wan wondered, Oh Anakin, what have you done?
Anakin lowered his head. “I don’t care if you tell the Council anymore, Obi-Wan, I really don’t. Banishment is exactly what I deserve, but as long as I’m with Padme, I am happy.”
Obi-Wan shook his head in utter disbelief. “Right after Geonosis….you were still my Padawan!”
Anakin didn’t respond. He felt like he’d just lifted a huge load off his chest, and figured it was best to give his Master a little time to sort it all out. He needed some time himself, time to wonder, Did I do the right thing?
Obi-Wan turned to Anakin, the man he had spent thirteen years of his life learning about, realizing that after all those years, Anakin still had surprises left in him. Just when he thought he’d known everything about him, it seemed that Anakin had left him more layers to unravel, leaving Obi-Wan stunned.
Anakin remained silent, his thoughts only of Padme. Don’t worry, angel. Whatever happens, I will come back for you. I promise you.
Finally, Obi-Wan took a breath and put into words what he sought to offer his young friend. “Anakin, you have broken the Code….you have made things a lot harder on yourself than I suspected….”
Anakin winced visibly.
But Obi-Wan smiled, not a smile of happiness, or a smile or sadness. It was the smile of a proud Master, watching his beloved brother take a step toward his destiny. “Anakin, I’m not angry with you. You haven’t betrayed me. You know why?”
Anakin gave Obi-Wan a wide-eyed look.
“Because you told me the truth, when you couldn’t tell anyone else, and that, my friend, is the greatest display of loyalty anyone has ever shown me.”
Anakin didn’t know what to think. Why wasn’t Obi-Wan launching into a lecture about following the Jedi Code? Why was he smiling?
Obi-Wan read his confused friend’s thoughts and his smile only widened. “I’m smiling because it’s so satisfying to know that you value our friendship enough to tell me the truth. I don’t know what will happen, but I think you’ve just made a very wise choice, Anakin.”
Anakin met Obi-Wan’s gaze directly. Obi-Wan continued. “I know I can help you, Anakin. Not even the Chosen One should go through life alone.”
Anakin’s mouth twisted into a poignant grin. “You still believe I’m the Chosen One, Master? Why? Not even the Council believes it anymore.”
Obi-Wan gave Anakin’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Because, Anakin. I have faith in you. I know you were made for great things and I think you believe it too.”
Anakin sighed sadly. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
Obi-Wan replied quickly. “Believe in yourself, and in me, Anakin. Believe that our friendship can get us through anything. I do.”
Anakin smiled. “I do too, Master.”
Obi-Wan smiled back. “I think we can figure something out, Anakin. I won’t lie to you, I have no clue how to solve this dilemma, but we’ll find a way.”
Anakin shot him another shocked glance. “You mean…you aren’t going to tell the Council?”
“It’s not my place. I think you should be the one to do it, at the time you feel is best.”
Anakin released another wave of tension that had been building up within him and sighed. He closed his eyes, sending Obi-Wan all the gratitude he could muster.
“Thank you, Obi-Wan.”
Obi-Wan offered him a friendly smile. “You are quite welcome, Anakin. I am quite happy to be able to return the favor. You helped me to move on after Siri died….. You were the only reason I had not to desert the Order…and…” Obi-wan broke off.
Anakin knew how hard it was for Obi-Wan to talk about Siri. It was a wound that had never fully healed.
Obi-Wan swallowed and finished, “And…I want to help you. I can’t let you do this alone.”
Anakin smiled. “There isn’t another Jedi I’d rather have by my side, Master.”
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, letting the power of this conversation flow through him. He gave Anakin a wry grin. “You think your old Master is up for the challenge?”
Anakin smiled back. “I think you could do anything you tried Master.”
Obi-Wan replied. “I suppose some more white hairs are a fair price to pay to help a friend.”
Anakin punched his shoulder playfully. “Hey, don’t blame your aging on me!”
Obi-Wan grinned. “Ah, but Anakin, I’m surprised your apprenticeship wasn’t the death of me.”
Anakin’s smile faded. “I was that bad?”
Obi-Wan shook his head. “You were the best padawan a Master could ask for.”
Anakin turned to stare out the large viewport, his eyes surveying the stars around them.
“What are you thinking about?” Obi-Wan asked.
“I still think we should be going to Coruscant rather than Tythe. I think Count Dooku will evade us again, he always does. I think a lot of things, Master, things that no one can ever be sure of. But I do know one thing. Padme Amidala was meant to be my angel. And there is nothing in the galaxy, not even that the Jedi Council can do to change that part of my destiny.”
“I understand, Anakin. I know that when your mother died, there was no one left for you that you were permitted to love. I realize that your love for Padme is untouchable. I know this because…I loved Siri Tachi, but I had to live with this love, which was a hard thing to do. It is both a blessing and a curse, and you must learn to move on and follow the will of the Force. If the Force meant for you to love Padme, then you are correct, no one can change that. But know this as well, Anakin. I will always be here for you, to help you whenever needed, because you are my brother.”
Anakin opened his mouth, but he found himself at a loss for words. He thought for a moment, Obi-Wan’s words tumbling through his mind. He said slowly, “Obi-Wan, what you say means more to me than you could ever know... I know that Padme was destined to become a part of my life, but I also know that you were chosen to be there as well…whether you like it or not.”
Obi-Wan smiled, and Anakin smiled back. Anakin felt a surge of joy pump through him as the light of the Force shone brighter than ever. And Anakin knew then that if two people were meant to affect his life, they were Padme Amidala and Obi-Wan Kenobi. And he knew that they had already changed him profoundly. He wasn’t sure how he would fare in the galaxy without their support and guidance, but the Force was ever-changing, and Anakin knew that he would surely spiral if he lost either of them.
Compassion was essential to a Jedi’s life. And one thing was for sure: Anakin Skywalker possessed a compassion that set him apart from the other Jedi, and it was that compassion that would determine Anakin’s destiny.
A destiny that would grasp Anakin more quickly than he or Obi-Wan realized.
But for now, they were two Jedi, ready for whatever actions they had to take to set things right.
Anakin stood up slowly and turned around, offering Obi-Wan a hand. Obi-Wan accepted, and soon both Jedi were on their feet, both feeling a little more enlightened than they had before they’d sat down.
Anakin looked at Obi-Wan, that same lopsided grin that Obi-Wan knew so well upon his face. “Obi-Wan?”
Obi-Wan smiled back. ‘Yes, Anakin?”
“Let’s go show Dooku what we’re made of.”
And the two Jedi prepared for the Battle of Tythe, another intricate piece of the puzzle that was the key to discovering peace.