Anakin Reveals All........By Padme

[padme]

This story takes place at the after ROTJ.

Chapter 1

It had been quite a few months since the Emperor was destroyed and Anakin turned back to the good side when he died. During this time Leia had been discovering how strong the Force was with her. She, as Luke had learned a few years earlier, has begun to learn about the Living Force.

During this time Luke and Leia both were being trained by the coroprial forms of Yoda, Obi-Wan and Anakin. During one other their trainings - as they had often, they were all siting around and dicussing different issues.

Out of the blue Leia asks her Father about his past - how he became a Jedi, where did he meet their Mother, what happened etc.

At this question, Anakin just sat there stunned in a way. He knew this was going to come up at some point - but he was hoping that he could just avoid it as much as possible. He knew she was right - they had a right to know - they needed to know. There was things about his past he was not proud of and would definatly like to forget - but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He thought "oh, great! Now all this is going to come out and Yoda and Obi-Wan will know everything!" He knew they suppected already but to throw it in their face was another thing entirely. At that thought a pain shot through him - he rememebered when he told Padme that exact same thing the night the nightmares started of her dying in childbirth when she asked him if they could talk to Obi-Wan it. "Oh, well" he thought. "It's got to come out sometime, so here it goes."


Anakin looked up at Leia, with that small insecure smile of his and took a deep breath and said, "I was wondering when that was going to come up". Up to this point he had been very quiet during the trainings and discussions. He definantly didn't feel worthy of being there and definantly not to say anything. Even though Yoda and Obi-Wan were always trying to make him feel worthy and to get him to put in his imput. What did he have to give, he thought, 'I've just spent the last 25 or so years oppressing people.'

"Well," he started, "where do you want me to start?" He also looked from Yoda and Obi-Wan, who both smiled at him. They knew that this is what was needed to start the healing process in Anakin and to bring him to the place of worth that he had but did not feel as though. Leia looked at Luke and they both said at the same time, "at the begining". Anakin told them to sit back and relax because this was a very long story.

"When I was growing up my mother, you grandmother, and I were slaves on Tatooine. When I was nine years old our Master as Wato. I worked in his shop fixing things, cleaning and stuff. One day a man, a young woman and a funny alien walked into the shop looking for parts for thier ship. As Wato took the man, who I figured out was a Jedi - his name was Qui-Gon, out back to look for what he needed. I stayed in the shop as told, and the young woman came over to me. I asked her if she was an Angel. She looked at me surprised and with a chuckle said "what". I told her that the deep space pilots talked about them. She just laughed and said no. "

"That woman was your mother. Her name was Padme. What she didn't know was as she thought of me as a funny little boy, I was nine and she was about 13 years old, I fell in love with her right then and knew that we would be together later in life. I actually never told her that. Humm. Anyways, she was the most beautifful girl I'd ever seen. "

"Come to find out they reason they were there was because the Queen of Naboo's ship was broke down and they were trying to get back to Corusant because Naboo was in trouble. They didn't have any money that they could use to trade. Then they found out that I did pod-racing and that I had built a racer. Well, it came down to that I would do the race that was coming up and if I won they would get the parts that was needed to fix the ship. Wato would get everything else. What I didn't know until after the race was that Qui-Gon had barted for my freedom if I won. Well, after some techinical dificulties, I did win. So with that we go back to my house and told my mother what had happened and that Qui-Gon had setup for my freedom. Only then did it dawn on me that I had to leave my Mother. As hard as it was it was something I wanted to do.

During this time Qui-Gon had figured out that what I thought was 'good reflexes' was actually the force. He did a test and found that the Midi Corins were very high in me. He had asked my mother before who my father was and she said that there was no father, she just got pregnant. Humm, ok that's interesting - which will be explained much later.

So we go, Padme was already back at the ship with the parts and it was being fixed while Qui-Gon came back to get me. As we were heading back to the ship this really weird and awful looking guy came flying by and Qui-Gon started to fight him.

Con't

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Cont

Qui-Gon told me to get on the ship and then we all took off for Corusant. I remember it being very cold on the ship. Tatooine is very hot as you know, Luke. Your mother came up and gave me a blanket to keep me warm. Now something that you must remember, during this time she was portraying herself as the Queen's handmaiden. When I found out later - very shockingly, that she was actually the Queen. Wierd! A 13 year old as the Queen. But that is how they did it on Naboo. We got close during that time but I know she looked at me a just the cute little boy from Tatoonie who was going to be training as a Jedi.

It was during the Battle of Naboo that Qui-Gon was killed by Darth Maul. I found out later that that's who that awful looking guy was. Qui-Gon was debating with the Jedi Council that he wanted to train me - but they had their reservations about me. Good instincts it turned to be, right?" Anakin said look over at Yoda. Yoda just looked at him with that grim smile of his. "Well, when Qui-gon died me had Obi-Wan make a promise that I would be trained as a Jedi. Obi-Wan made that promise. The Council granted that wish and I became Obi-Wan's apprentice.

After the Battle of Naboo and Padme's people were safe again, that of which I had a part in also. I inadvertly blew up the command ship of the Trade Federation. Padme and I went our separate ways. She to continue her term as Queen and me off to the Jedi Temple to complete my training."

Anakin stopped and looked around at everyone. He knew he'd been talking for sometime and so far it wasn't a very interesting story, but Luke and Leia both seemed interested in what he had to say. They both looked at him and told him to keep going. Anakin's heart just swelled. He felt he was about to cry, because of all the years that he had lost with them. He never even knew they were alive. He shook himself that to the moment and started again.

During the next 10 years I did my training with Obi-Wan. I never saw Padme again during that time. But then one day, just past my 20th birthday, we were back on Corusant from a mission and we were given a new mission.........

Chapter 1 Concluded

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Chapter 2

Anakin became lost in thought at this point. He was thinking about what it had been like growing up with Obi-Wan. He was like a father to him and then as he got older and became a Jedi Knight he was like a brother. He felt very sad for what he had put Obi-Wan through during those years. He knew he wasn’t the easiest or the most obedient apprentice. He was very stubborn, very strong willed and opinionated. He wished he could have changed that but he knew that that was not possible. Then he started thinking about his mother. The pain that hit his chest was almost unbearable. He pushed that aside and thought ‘ok, coming to that’.

Anakin shook himself back to ‘reality’ and looked around at everyone. Luke and Leia were looking at him with concern on their face. They didn’t know what was going on in side of their father – they’re just barely getting to know him and there is so much to learn. So they decided to wait until he was ready to speak again. Ob-Wan and Yoda looked and each other with a look of understanding on their faces. They too were thinking about that time in their lives, what it was like to raise/train Anakin during those years. Obi-Wan almost let out a chuckle……Almost.

“Sorry”, Anakin said, “So where was I?” Obi-Wan piped in, “20th birthday, new mission on Coruscant”, with a smile – he remembered this well. “Right”, said Anakin, “Well, we got home from our mission and then we were given a new assignment. To protect Senator Amidala. ‘What?’, I thought, ‘No way. This is too good to be true!’ I had been following your mothers’ career thru the years. She served as Queen of Naboo for 2 terms and then the present Queen asked her to serve as Senator for Naboo. She replaced Palpatine who was the Senator for Naboo back when the Battle of Naboo took place. During that time your mother made a political move in the Senate with the end result being that Palpatine was elected as Supreme Chancellor. I won’t go into all the political details of that. I hate politics! I always have”. “That’s the truth”, mumbled Obi-Wan with a grin. Anakin shot him a look and smiled, “I know – you tried many times to teach me a thing or 2 about politics but I was not interested in the least. The only interest I had in politics was a certain Senator.” He said with a smile. Obi-Wan thought to himself, “now that’s a smile I haven’t seen for a long time. Now I know why it was there” meaning Padme.

“Anyways”, Anakin continued, “I had heard that she was going to be on the planet for a vote or something in the Senate, and I was really hoping that I could somehow ‘bump’ into her. And now here it was that we were assigned to protect her.” “Why did she need your protection?” Luke asked. “Oh, that’s right, sorry I left that out.” Said Anakin. “There had been an attempt on her life. That turned out to be Nute Gunray from the Trade Federation, the ones that attacked Naboo 10 years before. I guess he was still pretty upset about how she outsmarted and overthrew him before. She also had a very strong voice and opinion in the Senate about what was going on in the Galaxy.”

“From what I remember she was not too happy about having us around as ‘protectors’. She was a very strong woman and didn’t like to, in any way, show that she may be weak.
I remember going up the turbolift to her apartment, I was so excited and very nervous at the same time. ‘Course my emotions were right on my ‘sleeve’ per se. Obi-Wan knew exactly what I was thinking. He looked and me and said ‘your sweating, calm down’. I remember saying that I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. What I didn’t say was I was wondering what she would think of me. Would she feel for me what I have felt for her for 10 years?”

“We walked through the door and was greeted by that funny guy I mentioned that was with Qui-Gon and Padme back at Wato’s shop. His name was Jar Jar Binks. He was a Gungan which was the other species that lived on Naboo. He was your mother’s representative to the Senate. He was so excited to see us. He came up and gave Obi-Wan a hug, which I don’t think he really appreciated too much,” Anakin said with a chuckle looking over at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan just smiled and gave a little shrug. Anakin continued, “then Jar-Jar saw me and it took a second for it to register that it was me. He got so excited then, that when he hugged me he almost knocked me down! Now remember at 9 years old – I was a little guy. At 20 years old I was about 6 feet tall! And pretty handsome I might add.” Everyone around the room laughed at that. Obi-Wan couldn’t argue, his former Padawan had grown up to be a handsome man. Leia piped in, “Well, I can see that, because you still are’.

Still smiling, which was a good thing because he hadn’t done that in a very long time, he was starting to relax some and was beginning to feel accepted – but he knew that was going to be short lived as the story progressed.

Continued

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Chapter 2 Continued.....

Anakin continued, “After Jar-Jar almost took me to the ground he called Padme over. Padme was already making her way across the room at that point. Then Jar-Jar moved out of the way and I saw her really for the first time in 10 years. My heart stopped. She was breathtaking. Oh, how beautiful she was. More beautiful than in my dreams. I wanted so much to go over and just wrap my arms around her and hold and kiss her. But I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. So I stood there, just a little behind my Master as I had been taught, and stayed quiet and respectful. And with a stupid grin on my face!” They all laughed at that. “Padme and Obi-Wan greeted each other then Padme looked at me. It also took her a second to realize who I was. Then she smiled and said ‘Ani, little Ani? Boy, have you grown’, and I said ‘so have you. More beautiful I mean. For a senator, I mean.’ Oh, can the ground swallow me up now, I’m thinking. What a stupid thing to say! She just smiled and chuckled and said ‘Oh, Ani! You’ll always be that little boy I meet on Tatooine.’ OOOO, stick the knife in farther and twist! I think you missed some vital organs! That little boy on Tatooine! Do I look like that same kid! Oh, did that hurt – she didn’t feel the same way about me as I did her. But I just stood there and smiled, respectfully, and didn’t say a word!”

“We all then sat down and discussed what was going on and how we would protect her. I opened my big mouth and told her we would find out who was behind this. And of course I spoke out of place and got reprimanded my Obi-Wan, right in front of Padme. Not a good start! Now she’s really thinking I’m a little boy still. Remember she’s around 24 years old now. I tried to recover from what I had said and explain. It didn’t work. I just gave up and keep my mouth shut.”

“After we finished talking, or they finished talking rather, Obi-Wan went and checked out the security around the building and I was assigned to check out the apartment. Ok, I can do this. This is perfect because I get to be close to Padme. And without Obi-Wan! “

“I walked around the apartment and checked out all the windows, doors, etc. I checked the cameras to see where they were monitoring. There was one in her bedroom, ummm. Sorry, thoughts going in wrong direction. She covered those up anyways; guess she didn’t like the idea that I was watching her. For her protection, of course.” He said with a mischievous grin. “I couldn’t believe that my dream had come true, one of them of course. I was close to Padme! Just being around her was intoxicating! Of course, Obi-Wan’s comment was, “Careful of your feelings, my young Padawan, they betray you!” Well, of course they did. I was in love with this woman who still thinks of me as a little kid! Now how am I going to change that? Well, I didn’t worry about that too much; I’d figure that one out. I had no doubt that I would win her heart just like she had stolen mine for so many years.

That night there was another attempted on her life. This time right in her bedroom with us out in the living room…….

End of Chapter 2

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Chapter 3

A look of intense pain came across Anakin’s face. This made Leia sit straight up. “What’s wrong?” she asked. This ‘spirit’ thing was still weird and confusing for her. But she figured that she would come to understand it, just as everything else about the Force, as time went on. To see that they still had emotions was somewhat mind blowing to her.

She looked over at Luke, he was just sitting there with a look of sadness and understanding on his face as he waited for his Father to compose himself again and continue. He knew this was going to be hard for his Father to do. Luke didn’t know hardly anything about Anakin’s life but from what he did know it wasn’t an easy one.

Luke just looked back at Leia and made a gesture of ‘it’s ok, give him time’. Leia nodded and just waited. She looked over at Obi-Wan and Yoda – they were just sitting there waiting – patiently. They had a pretty good idea of what was bothering Anakin. They remembered what had happened with his mother.

Anakin looked at everyone with tears starting down his cheeks, “Just before Obi-Wan and I returned to Corusant – before I saw your Mother again, I started having nightmares about my Mother. Remember I told you that I left her 10 years before still as a slave on Tatooine. Well, these nightmares hit me hard and fast. They were of her being in pain and suffering for some reason. But being a Jedi, I couldn’t go back to see her at all. I couldn’t even go back to see what was wrong when these dreams started. Now my dreams were mostly more than just dreams. Most of the time they were premonitions of what was too come. I had hardly had a dream that didn’t come true. But Obi-Wan keep telling me, ‘dreams pass in time. This one will too.’” You could feel the anger and resentment building up in Anakin as he remembered this. Obi-Wan and Yoda were very quiet at this point. They too had wondered these past 25 years if that was such a good rule to have about Padawans being totally separated from their families. Anakin then came to his senses, he remembered what had happened the last time he let his anger take control. He wasn’t about to start down that path again.

He looked at them and apologized, “I’m sorry. I guess I still need to watch my temper. But I think for the ‘New Jedi Order’ we’re building here that maybe some of the old guidelines might need to be revised. Like the younglings being totally separated from their families for the rest of their lives.” Yoda closed his eyes and nodded, “Right, you might be on that point, Young Skywalker. Right you might be.”

Anakin smiled, he remembered when Yoda used to call him that. He didn’t take offense to it at all. He was still young in a sense and he did still have a lot to learn! “The dreams haunted me for quite a while. I was too the point that I really wasn’t sleeping. So I had this in the back of my mind going into this mission with Padme. At least Padme would take my mind off it for awhile. But they always seemed to find their way back into my head at night.”

“So what happened with your Mother?” Luke asked. “I’ll come back to that in just a little bit. Let’s get back to the attempt on your Mother’s life. Anyways, an attempt was made to kill your Mother while she was sleeping. Obi-Wan and I both felt the disturbance in the Force and came running in. You know, knights in shinning armor – or lightsabers – to the rescue.

We stopped the attempt but then we noticed a droid at the window, this is obviously where the ugly little poisonous bugs came from. So as the droid tries to fly away Obi-Wan leaps out the window and catches it and off into they night they go. Well, I thought I was the crazy one! I grabbed a speeder and caught up with Obi-Wan in just the nick of time as he was falling through the sky because the droid had been shot out from his hands. We followed the assassin to the lower levels of Coruscant and followed her into a club. When we captured her – she tried to kill Obi-Wan from behind – not a good idea. He was much faster than her.” He said smiling. “We to started question her and then she was killed by the guy who had hired her!”

Needless to say, the next day the Council ordered the investigation to who was behind the assignation attempt on Padme’s life. They assigned Obi-Wan to do the investigation and I was assigned, my first assignment alone by the way, to escort Padme back to Naboo and stay with her and protect her”. A very big smile came across his face when he said this. “Another dream come true, as you can imagine. Now I get to take her ‘home’ and really be alone with her. This couldn’t get much better. But of course it did. But I’ll get to that shortly.”


continued,,,,,,,,,,

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Chapter 3 continued.....

He looked over at Obi-Wan and Yoda again. He was wondering what they were thinking. They didn’t really know what happened between them on Naboo. But he was sure that they had an idea. They knew the end of the story but now they’re going to get the whole thing. He wasn’t about to hold anything back. He’d come to far to hide anything now. Besides he had a feeling that Qui-Gon was around although he couldn’t see him. He could feel him encouraging him to just let it all out. Somehow it was all going to work out ok.

“So Padme and I and Artoo headed out for Naboo. While we were on the transport, traveling as refugees because we wanted to keep our movements a secret, we had a chance to talk and get to know each other.” Smiling, he added, “I remember us talking about hard difficult it was to be a Jedi. How we have no possessions, attachments to anything or anyone. I was trying to convince her that the Jedi were encouraged to love because it made us stronger. She knew I was giving her a line. I wanted to believe that with everything I had in me. I do, actually. But she wasn’t really buying it. “

“I really loved the fact that I was able to just relax and be myself. I didn’t have to be the strong Jedi that I felt I had to act like. I could just be myself. A 20 year old guy talking with a girl he really likes. It was really nice because for the past 10 years I lost who I was in a way. I know that’s confusing. But if you really think about it that’s what happened. I started growing up like a normal kid. I’m not talking the slave thing at all here. I mean I had a mom who loved me very much and I loved her very much. We were very close. I had things like possessions. I was encouraged to love by my mother. Kids that grew up in the Jedi temple were taken from their families when they were babies. Like Obi-Wan. The Jedi was all he knew. He never knew that it was like to be loved by a mother. Not the way normal kids do. That’s how it was easier for those kids to forsake all attachments. Not me – I knew what it was like to be loved and to have a family. So it just being Padme and I on that transport let me be “normal” again. At least for a little while. It felt really good to just relax and enjoy myself.”

Anakin looked over at Obi-Wan and Yoda as he said this. They had a pained look on their face. A look of conviction. Anakin looked at them, and asked, “Well, am I right?” Obi-Wan’s face softened to an agreeing smile, “Yes, Anakin. You are right. I know it was hard for you to grasp that part of the training. And yes, it really was unfair to you to have insisted that you do that. Even though it was the Jedi Code.” “Thin, fine line, it was” replied Yoda. “Learn from our mistakes, we hope to have” said Yoda. “Yes” said Obi-Wan, “I hope so too. We definitely don’t want to make the same mistakes for the new future Jedi’s.”

Anakin sat there. Shocked. He never in his whole life did he ever expect to hear that from them. Especially not because of him. The memories of all he had done started to flood his mind again. He stopped them. He wasn’t ready to face that yet. He still had so much to tell before all that happened. He wanted to be sure to explain everything as best as he could.

Luke broke the silence, “What was this about the Chosen One? I remember hearing something about that these past few years during my training.”

“That’s a good question.” Anakin said with a half chuckle. He couldn’t leave this part out, it had a lot to do with who he was or was going to be. “I left that out didn’t I? Well………..”

End of Chapter 3

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Chapter 4


“The Chosen One………” Anakin looked over at Obi-Wan and Yoda for help. They looked at him with a ‘it’s your story. Go ahead’ response. “To be honest, I never really understood it all. I know that there was a prophecy a very long time ago that said that one would be born whose Midi-Clorins would be very high, higher than anyone else, ever – yes, even higher than Master Yoda. He would be the one to bring balance to the Force and destroy the Sith. Ok, that’s it in a nut shell. Now the big question, what does that really mean? I really don’t think anyone really understood it – up till now, that is. I sometimes wonder if the last part ‘destroy the Sith’, was added to try to understand it and make it fit into our time frame.”

Now Luke and Leia were totally confused. Obi-Wan and Yoda just sat there wondering where he was going with this. They were somewhat confused also. They really thought that they had it figured out back then.

Anakin chuckled when he saw the looks on Luke and Leia’s faces. “Ok, now I know it sounds like I’m talking in circles here. I’m not, really. Remember when I said that Qui-Gon tested my blood, he said it was to make sure there was no infection. Nice cover. He sent it to Obi-Wan, who was still on the ship, I still hadn’t met him yet. I didn’t meet him until I got on the ship. Obi-Wan tested it and got back to Qui-Gon that the Midi-Clorins where off the scale. Also, remember that I thought that I just had good reflexes and that really was the Force? So Qui-Gon started to think that maybe I was the one prophesied. Now also remember that the prophecy said nothing about this ‘savior’ being a Jedi. But Qui-Gon felt that it was the will of the Force, which means we really don’t know what the will is – we’re just guessing by the way, that I be trained as a Jedi.”

He looked over at Obi-Wan and Yoda , “sorry, it’s the truth though, right”. “Yes”, Obi-Wan said, “it is the truth. It’s not something that we really wanted to admit though. Actually, I do remember saying that to Padme, before she…..” his voice trailed off, ‘If I only knew then….’ He thought regretfully, shaking his head “ummm, when I went to see her about you just before the slau…..” he was going to say ‘just before the slaughter of the Jedi’. Can I get my foot out of my mouth? He thought. He looked over at Anakin.

Anakin had his back turned toward them with his head down. At this point he had stood up, he’d been sitting down until now. What Obi-Wan was starting to say was hitting a little to close to home. And to be honest, it hurt! That furnace that he’d been burning/living in for the past 25 years was starting to heat up again, and he didn’t want it too. He turned around and looked up with tears running down his face. He didn’t want to start crying – he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to stop. And he hasn’t even come close to the hard parts yet. ‘Am I going to have to live with this pain for eternity?’ he asked himself. Of course there was no answer.

“I know Obi-Wan.” He said wiping his eyes. “Anyways, back to being the Chosen One. So as I was growing up I had heard that I may be the ‘Chosen One’. Try living up to that at 10 years old. They expected more out of me than other because of that too, it felt. Also my ability with the Force was more that others. It always had been. It was hard trying to live up to that and know how to live up to it at the same time. Did I like being the ‘Chosen One’? Well, sometimes, it stroked my ego – made me feel important. But a lot of the time I really didn’t like it at all. Things were expected of me that I couldn’t do, or didn’t want to do. For example, your mother. So how do you explain that the ‘Chosen One’ had gone against the Jedi Code and fell in love, got married in secret and then was going to be a father?” Obi-Wan was startled at this, ‘married’ he thought ‘well that might explain a few things.’

Luke was starting to understand what his Father had gone through all those years ago. He never knew the demands that the Jedi had put onto their own. Things were so different now. Yoda or Obi-Wan for that matter, never said anything about any of this. Could he have been a Jedi back then knowing that he had to forsake all attachments? He didn’t know the answer to that, he would hope that the answer was yes but he really wasn’t sure. He was very glad that things were changing in the Jedi Order. They were laying the ground work here for a new beginning“



cont'd

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Chapter 4 continued......


“So what about the part of bringing balance to the Force?” Luke asked. “Did you ever, at any point, figure that out?” Anakin just smiled, “Actually, now, yes I have. Back then, no. I had no idea what I was supposed to do.” Obi-Wan and Yoda looked at each other and smiled. They knew what he was talking about. They were very proud of him. But they knew that he still had a long way to go to heal. Anakin had many deep wounds in him. Some that they didn’t even know all about – but they knew they were there none the less.

Luke asked, “I have a question. Sorry, this is off the subject some, but it just came to me. The Emperor. Palpatine? You mentioned a Senator Palpatine becoming Supreme Chancellor at the beginning. Is this the same guy?” Anakin breathed a heavy sigh, “Yes, it is. Palpatine took me under his wing when I came to Coruscant and started my training. He was like a father to me or so I thought. He always seemed to understand me. He listened, supported me and was my confidant. I could tell him anything and he never judged me. Looking back – well, I see that there was a different motive for all that and it wasn’t for my good. He really played the part well, I have to say. What I didn’t realize was that he was raising me up from a young boy to be his apprentice. I can’t believe how I fell into that trap.” Anakin said with remorse. “How a lot of what Obi-Wan was trying to tell me I just brushed off because it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I could go to Palpatine and he would tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. I liked that better. So obviously I believed him more that Obi-Wan or the other Masters. Boy was I wrong.” Anakin shook his head. Here came the tears again and that burn in his chest. He fought them back. “I’ll get back to him later”.

Obi-Wan sat there with this pain in his chest. He remembered what it was like trying to train Anakin and having to deal with Palpatine’s influence. It was very difficult. It’s hard enough taking a young child as an apprentice and train them as a Jedi. At the same time you are raising them. But to have Anakin as an apprentice was more difficult. He was constantly fighting what Palpatine was teaching Anakin. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t get Anakin to see this. All Anakin saw was that Obi-Wan was being hard on him again. He wasn’t being hard on him – he just wished there was some way he could have gotten Anakin to see this.

“Anakin”, Obi-Wan said. Anakin looked over at him, “do you remember growing up how you always thought I was judgmental and too hard on you?” “Yes, Master” said Anakin, “I do.” “Do you still think that?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you see now I was that way.” “Yes, I do. Now that things are clearer I can see where you were fighting with what Palpatine was doing. I know now that you were not being mean or cruel. You were just trying to make me see the right path so I can make the right decision. That’s not what a young boy wants to hear – but it is what a Padawan needs to hear. I hope you can forgive me, Master, for how I acted then. I am sorry, I just couldn’t see the clear path.” Obi-Wan smiled, “there is nothing to forgive, Anakin. You were young and being mislead. And you see that. That’s what’s important.” Obi-Wan walked over to Anakin and they embraced. Up to that point, that was something that Obi-Wan had never that would happen again.

As for Anakin, he didn't know if Obi-Wan would feel the same way after he really finds out what he has done. But for now he accepted the love and forgiveness his former Master gave him. He only hoped it would be there later........

End of Chapter 4

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Chapter 5


After a few moments, Obi-Wan said, “Anakin, you said that you and Padme were married? How and when did that happen? I knew there was something going on between you two but I didn’t think that you two got married”.

Anakin took a deep breath, ‘ok, so now it starts to come out’. “Yes, Obi-Wan we were married. We’d been married for 3 years when…….” Anakin fought the tears and furnace starting to well up in his chest again. Anakin stopped and looked around at everyone. “Ok, let’s go back to the Naboo transport again. When we finally arrived on Naboo – remember I had my 1st assignment and was escort her back home and protecting her because there had been a threat to her life. We checked in with the Queen and had a meeting with her and her advisors about what was going on and where she was going to stay while we were on Naboo.” Anakin smiled and started to chuckle, “I remember arguing with her in front of everyone in the room about what would be safer for her. It was stupid – she had come up with the idea of going to the Lake Country because it would be more secluded. I got upset because she came up with the idea – not me – and did not ‘consult’ me about it. After all I was her ‘Jedi Protector’. Boy, was I embarrassed. Everyone was looking at us – I just conceded and said, ‘yes, my lady’. That’s what you said to her back then. It was respectful. I remember I said that a lot during that trip.” Anakin said with a laugh.

“We often fussed a lot. I was too impatient and would go off the handle about something and she was the level headed one. She would look at me and tell me, ‘You know I don’t like it when you talk to me like that’. Could never make her do something she did not want to do. But for all my faults she loved me with everything that was in her. And I loved – love – her more than anything”. Anakin said with a distant stare.

He shook himself back to reality, “Anyways, after we left the palace we went to her parents place before heading out to the Lake Country. That was weird and fun at the same time. I got to see some of Padme’s past and who she was. When we got there they were getting ready to sit down to eat. So of course we ate. Although we just ate – we didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Her mom, dad and sister were there. Her mom told me in front of everyone that I was the first boyfriend that Padme’s ever brought home. I just sat there and smiled. Padme though, got all red in the face and said ‘oh no, he’s not my boyfriend!!! He’s a Jedi! Well, a Padawan learner. He’s not a full Jedi yet.’ Ok, stab me in the heart again. It’s still beating!!!!! That’s twice in so many days she did that to me. Oh, well, I just sat there, smiled and went back to trying to eat. I looked up at her mom and sister they were looking at us with a ‘ya, right!’ look. I almost laughed out loud. But I decided it was best to keep that to my self. No need to embarrass her more.

“Her parents wanted to know how much danger she was really in. Of course, Padme tried to just blow it off as nothing. I told them the truth. A Lot! She could of shot daggers out of her eyes at me” he laughed, “But hey, it was the truth and I wasn’t going to lie. They needed to know. Maybe they could talk some sense into her. Ya right! NNot your mother. She was very strong willed. But I loved that about her. I would never had wanted it any other way.”

Leia smiled and laughed, “So that’s where I get it from. I was wondering because my mom, err Queen Organa, I mean”. Anakin said, “no that ok. She was your mother all your life. She raised you. Don’t worry about it.” Leia sheepishly smiled, “thanks, anyways, she was always so soft spoken. So I just thought I got it from my fath…..oh, uh, Bail. Anakin smiled again – “it’s ok, really. Where you got it from was your real mother. I wish you could have met her.” Anakin paused, “God, I miss her!!!” And he started to sob. Luke and Leia sat there and they felt so bad for their father. With him being ‘one with the force’ it wasn’t like they could go over and hug him and comfort him. But Yoda and Obi-Wan looked down at the ground, they were very sad because they knew the real reason that he was crying – and it wasn’t just because she was gone.

After a few moments, Anakin composed himself, “Sorry. I haven’t let myself think about her or feel that loss for 25 years. I guess it’s coming to the surface. Ok, where was I. After dinner she packed a few items and we headed out to the Lake Country. We took a speed boat ride to get there. That was the only way to get to the cabin. That was fun. The driver did some really fun things with the boat. I found myself starting to reach into the Force to steady the boat, but then I saw that Padme was not worried at all. So I just relaxed.”

Continued.......

[padme]

Anyways, we got there and found our rooms – right next to each other so I could ‘protect’ her. And we walked out on the balcony and were looking out over the lake. I remember she was talking something about sand, I remember my reply was that I didn’t like the sand. Growing up on Tatooine as you well know. Right Luke?” Luke looked at Anakin and laughed, “Right. I know what you mean. So then what happened”? “Well,” said Anakin, “that’s when I kissed her for the first time. I remember watching her talk, touching her arm and she didn’t pull away or be uncomfortable looking at her – as she did in the past – then I just leaned in and kissed her.” Luke and Leia were smiling. So this is where it started, “then,” Anakin said, “she pulled away and said ‘no, I shouldn’t have done that’. Well, that was that. Felt like she hit me in the gut, again. She was getting good at that.

After that we just relaxed and had fun. We had a picnic out in the fields, I rode a shaak. Big, fat, ugly animal. You know, showing off. Then the shaak went a way I didn’t expect and I fell off. Well, yes I’m ornery, made it look like I’d been hurt. I just laid real still. She came running over to me, with fear and dread in her voice. Humm, I’m thinking maybe she does feel something for me. She came over – I was laying on my stomach – rolled me onto my back and ‘surprised’ I came back to life. Oh she was upset. She’s hitting me and were laughing and rolling on the grass. It was funny. But that was actually the loosest I ever saw her.

That night we had dinner. Very nice, romantic. It would have been great if it was on purpose and she saw it that way. So I just played it off. We talked about different things that had happened to us. But I was starting to notice a change in the way she looked at me. She tried to hide it. I didn’t make a big deal on it. I acted like I didn’t notice anything. After dinner we were sitting in the den relaxing. I decided that I was going to let it all out of how I felt – like it was a secret – and see what would happen.”

“I totally took her by surprise. I totally opened my heart to her and laid it on the table. I told her how miserable I was being around her and not being able to hold her or show her how I felt. I remember saying something about her being in my very soul tormenting me. She looked away, I remember that, I could feel the struggle going on inside her. Then she looked at me and said that she couldn’t. She told me to come back to reality. How we couldn’t be together because I was studying to be a Jedi and she was a Senator. What was it she said?” Anakin thought for a moment, “If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they will take us to a place we cannot go…….’ Now here’s the kicker, ‘regardless of the way we feel about each other.’ Ah Ha!!!! I knew it. She did fell something!!!! She reminded me that Jedi weren’t allowed to marry and that I’d be expelled from the Order and that she wouldn’t let me give up my future for her. I’d given up my life for her I didn’t care. She was all I could see and think about. She told me she had more important things to do than to fall in love. That wounded me. That hurt more that the comments she had made earlier. Then I came up with an idea! We could keep it a secret. She didn’t go for that – at least not at that time she didn’t. She said we’d be living a lie and she couldn’t do that. We couldn’t even keep it if we wanted to. She asked me if I could live like that. I said no, you’re right. It would destroy us. So I tucked my feelings away and tried to resolve my self not to fall in love more.”

“What I didn’t realize until now was how correct I was about it destroying us”. Anakin said.


End of Chapter 5

[padme]

Chapter 6

“That night after we had that ‘wonderful’ talk”, Anakin said sarcastically, then turning somber, “I had another dream about my mother. I was still having them on and off since I started this trip with Padme but they were not as intense as this one was. It was so real. I could feel her pain and her suffering. It was like I was there. It was awful!”

“The next morning I was up just before sunrise and was meditating on the balcony. Like all Jedi do. But this time I had to work harder at it. I couldn’t get the feelings that I had felt from the dream, not to mention what had happened the night before with Padme, out of my mind. As I was meditating, your mother had walked up. She didn’t make any sound but I could sense her. That had been starting to happen lately. It was almost like she had some sort of force connection also. Because the closer we got the stronger the connection to her, or each other for that matter, got.”

“Anyways, sorry I got off track again. Your mother walked up and saw that I was meditating and started to walk away. I told her not to leave. She said that she didn’t want to disturb me and I told her that her presence was soothing. Then she was quiet for a minute. Then she almost timidly said that I had had another nightmare last night. I told her ‘Jedi don’t have nightmares’. Trying to be a big, strong tough guy. She saw right through that. I remember just as if it was yesterday, she came over to me – put her hand on my shoulder – the first time she really had even touched me – and said “I heard you calling out in your sleep”. My eyes popped open. ‘She heard me, there’s no way I can hide this now’ I thought. Come to find out later that she had come into my room during that to try and comfort me – then remembered what we had ‘agreed on’ and decided that it would not be a good idea. I had calmed down by then I guess and then she went back to her room.”

“She’s in pain’ I said. ‘I can feel her. They’re hurting her’. ‘Who?’ Padme asked me, ‘Who’s in pain and who’s hurting her’? ‘My Mother’, I said, ‘I’ve got to help her! I know I’m breaking my mandate to protect you, Padme, but I’ve got to save her!’ I told her. By this time tears are running down my face. I was so distraught and in turmoil over this. Stay and protect the woman I love or go save my mother. But I knew I had to
do something. I couldn’t just ignore it anymore. The dreams weren’t going away and they weren’t lighting up. They just kept getting worse and worse. It’s like I was there. I could feel her pain and agony. It was imperative to go now. I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Then your mother just blew me away, and it wouldn’t be the only time either, ‘I’ll go with you’ she said. I looked at her shocked. ‘It’s dangerous. It’ll be too dangerous for you. I can’t put you in that position.’ I said. Then she reminded me about how she’s a big girl and can take care of herself. I couldn’t argue with that. She was right. And as she pointed out that I could do both – protect her and save my mother. It sounded perfectly logical. At the time at least.”



“So we got our things together and headed for her ship. Then we took off for Tatooine. That was where I had left her when I was 9 years old. I figured that it was the best place to start.”

Anakin stopped and looked over at Obi-Wan and Yoda. Obi-Wan looked at him and said, “Well, go on. I have always wondered why and how you ended up on Tatooine when you were supposed to be on Naboo. So I’m all ears. Please continue.”

Anakin took a deep breath and continued, “When we came out of hyperspace and saw Tatooine in front of us. I remember thinking how different it was compared to Naboo. Naboo was peaceful and welcoming and Tatooine was chaos and very unwelcoming to say the least. We landed in Mos Espa. That’s where I grew up and where I worked in Watto’s shop.”

“We landed the ship and started out into the city towards Watto’s shop. Remember he was our master when I went with the Jedi 10 years before. I remember it seemed like it took forever to get to his shop. My anticipation and anger started to build. It was almost difficult to hide it from your mother. If she ever saw that she never said anything. We came to Watto’s shop.”

“He was working outside on a broken piece of equipment. We walked up to him and he was arguing with a couple of his droids. He looked at me stunned. I just looked at him and reached for the piece that he was working on and told him I would fix it. He defiantly didn’t know who I was. He looked at me and said ‘whatever it was I didn’t do it!’ If I was in a better mood I might have laughed. As I was working on the piece I asked him about my mother. He sat back with a confused look then a shocked look came over his face. He asked ‘Annie? Little Annie?

"Con't below"

[padme]

Naah!’ he said. I just looked up at him and answered with a quick twist of my hand and fixed the piece of equipment. He was shocked. ‘It is you!’ he yelled. ‘Boy, you’ve sure sprouted’ I said hello to him. Then he noticed that I was a Jedi. He mentioned something about me helping him with some who owed him money. I just looked at him and said, at more firmer this time, ‘My Mother ..’ ‘Oh, yeah, he said, well she’s not mine anymore. I sold her’. I was shocked. ‘You, what?’ I asked. He said something about being sorry that it was just business. I asked him if he knew who it was and where they were. He tried to shrug it off but saw that I was very insistent. He went inside and found the address for us.”

“He gave us the location of the farmer that had bought her. I guess he also freed her and they fell in love and they got married. If I was in a better frame of mind I would have been happy for her. But right now the only thing on my mind was that horrible dream. We had to get there and fast. I had to find out what was going on with her.”

“We got in the ship and flew it over towards Mos Eisley , the farm was just outside there. We found the farm from the air and landed the ship close by. I couldn’t believe that I was going to see her again. It had been such a long time. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.

“We started walking over to the farm. Outside was a droid working on something. He turned around and said hello and started to introduce himself as C-3PO. I was shocked. I built him when I was 9 and left him with my mother when I went with Qui-Gon.” Luke and Leia sat there stunned. They didn’t know that their father was the one who built 3PO. Anakin looked at them and smiled, “You didn’t know that I was the one who built him, did you?” “No”, they both said at the same time. “Humm, interesting”, said Anakin, “I wonder why nothing was ever said about 3PO or R2 for that matter to you guys?” “Well”, Obi-Wan said, “Bail had 3PO’s mind wipe when, um, everything happened back then. As for R2, well, I guess he decided himself to keep it all quiet since 3PO didn’t remember anything.” “Oh, I see” Anakin said very somberly.

Anakin sat quiet for a moment as the past relived in his mind again. If he could only go back and do it differently he told himself for the millionth time. He shook his head and continued, “Well, like I said I was very surprised to see him. He had coverings and all. When I left him his wires were still bare. He didn’t like that if I remember right.” He said with a chuckle. “He was very surprised to see me also and your mother also. I remember I was very proud of him. I dragged your mother to see him.” Anakin laughed at that and shook his head. “She acted like she liked him and seemed impressed. I’m not sure if she really was or if she was just being nice. I like to think the first part was the truth.”

“Anyways, when I saw him I really started to get excited. Hey, if 3PO is here then this must be the right place and I’ve found my mother!!! Alright, this is good. Something good is going to happen for a change, I thought. When I asked him where my mother was here. He said, very uncomfortably I might add, that we had better go inside. I’m thinking, ok let’s go inside. I can’t wait to see her anyways. We walk into the complex and Owen met us. 3PO introduced us and I asked if my mother was there. Then Cleigg came up from behind on his hover chair and said that she wasn’t there and that we needed to talk. Oh, now that sickening feeling was starting to creep up inside.”

“We went in and sat down at the table. And then they proceeded to tell me that she had been taken by the Tusken Raiders and that she had been gone for a month now.” He stopped and looked over at Obi-Wan and said, “Right about the time my dreams started.” Obi-Wan looked down at the ground. He couldn’t look Anakin in the eye. He knew this and he had felt bad about it back then but he could never say anything to Anakin. He knew that that was wrong and that he did probably blame him for not being able to save her. “I know, Anakin. You were right and I am sorry for not letting you go and see her. I know you probably blame me for what happened. I’m just so sorry for being so hard on you then. I could have let up and really seen what was going on within you.” Anakin looked at him, “You’re right. I did blame you for a long time. I went through a lot of ‘what ifs’ for a long time. Could I have saved her if I got there sooner. Back then I thought yes, for sure. Now, I don’t know. I know now that I was wrong in blaming you. But I guess what really hurt was that you never really listened to me or even admitted that maybe you were wrong. But that’s in the past now. Besides there’s something that you or you, Yoda, that you don’t know…….”

Obi-Wan and Yoda looked at each confused. Luke and Leia were surprised. They had no idea where this was going. They were even wondering if they even wanted to know. But, they had asked so the bad had to come out sometime. They were just wondering if this was one of them. It sounded like it was. They didn’t have any idea of what their father was like. No one talked about his past and what he was like growing up and as a Jedi Knight. All Obi-Wan and Yoda presented was that he was a great man and a great Jedi. “Ok”, Obi-Wan said, “Now you’ve really got our attention. What is it.” He knew whatever it was it couldn’t be any worse than the past 25 years as Darth Vader.


End of Chapter 6

[padme]

Chapter 7

Anakin stalled for a minute. He knew this was it. Now things were really going to come out. He wondered what they would think. Would Luke and Leia not want to have anything to do with him after this? Is Obi-Wan going to be mad? Disappointed? Yes, probably disappointed. Then he looked over at Yoda. Well, he could see Yoda’s look already. He could see him just shaking his head in sadness. Well, here goes nothing, he thought, I’ve got to do this.

“Well, just as they were finished telling me what happened to my mother I stood up and started to walk out. They asked me where I was going and I replied, ‘to find my mother’. Cleigg told me to give it up that she was dead and Owen agreed with him. I looked over at your mother and she just looked at me with sadness. I looked at her and told them that I knew she was still alive because I could feel her. I turned around and left out of the compound. Your mother followed me out and just fell into my arms and gave me a big hug. I could feel her trying not to cry. I told her that I needed to go and that she would be safe there. She asked me how I was going to find her. I told her that I could feel her and that I would just follow that. I told her that I wouldn’t be long and then I got on the speeder and left.”

“I just keep riding. Turning where I felt the force told me to. I talked to some traders to find out if they had seen any sign of the Raiders. They pointed in the direction that I was already headed so I knew I was on the right track. I remember that it took a lot to get information out of them. They kept trying to sell me a driod. Since I didn’t want one they weren’t too forthcoming on the information.” “You couldn’t do the force thing with your hand?” Leia asked smiling. “No”, Anakin said with a laugh, “It didn’t work on them. I’m not saying that I didn’t try. Trust me I did try. But they just stood there staring at me with a look like ‘why you waving your hand around like that? You waving off flys or something?” They all laughed at that.

“Well, I kept riding in the direction that they told me”, Anakin said, “Then I finally came upon a Raider camp. I wasn’t entirely sure that this was the same bunch that had my mother but I had a good idea that it might be. I snuck into the camp. I could tell the closer I got that I was at the right camp. I could really feel my mother then. It lead me right to the tent that they had her in. I turned on my lightsaber to the lowest setting possible and cut a hole in the back. And there she was. They had her tied up to a rack facing it. It was so horrible to see. Her face was all bloody. You could see the blood on her wrist where her bindings had been tearing into her wrists and you could see the blood soaked through the back of her clothes. I couldn’t believe that they had done this to her. No matter how much I had seen the past 10 years traveling around with Obi-Wan I still couldn’t believe that anyone would be so cruel and inhumane.”

“I went over and cut her down. She was unconscious. I almost thought that she was dead but I could still feel her in the force so I knew that she was still alive, barely. She fell into my arms and I knelt on the ground and just held her. Like you would hold a child. She was so frail and week. I called her name and her eyes fluttered open. She looked at me with surprise. I was defiantly the last person she thought she would ever see. Then she smiled at me and put her hand to my cheek. I told her that it was ok and that I was going to get her out of there to just hang on. She wouldn’t keep quiet though.” Anakin said. His tears were streaming down his face now.
Obi-Wan sat there and watched him, he felt such deep sorrow and pain. He knew that Anakin had suffered so much during this. What also saddened him was that they had never talked about it. He had always felt that they had had to keep a distance with each other and not get attached. ‘Attachment’ Obi-Wan thought to himself with sadness. ‘Look where that got us’.

Yoda sat there listening. He made no comment and outward sign of express. Just his common look of sadness and contemplation. Luke and Leia were very quiet. They could feel his pain and they hurt so much for him. This was defiantly a time when Leia wished that she could go over and hug her father. That was not possible though. She found herself wishing someone would. But that would have to had been Obi-Wan or Yoda. And she defiantly didn’t see Yoda doing that. And Obi-Wan just sat there.

cont.............

[padme]

Anakin wiped the tears from his face but that didn’t stop them so he just kept going, “She kept going on about how I’ve grown and how handsome I looked. How she knew I’d come back. I tried to tell her to save her strength and that we were getting out of there. She told me she was proud of me and how much she missed me. I told her that I missed her too. The she said something that him me like a knife. She then said ‘Now I am complete’ and then looked past me to the ceiling. I knew immediately what was going on. I was losing her. I didn’t come all this way just to lose her in my arms no less. I told her to stay with me that we were going to make it and that everything was going to be fine. She then started to tell me she loved me but she died before she finished.

“I couldn’t believe it! I was stunned and numb. I couldn’t think. I just knelt there on the ground with her in my arms just rocking her like a baby. I tried to will her back to life but that of course didn’t work. She was still gone. After awhile I laid her down on the ground and closed her blood coated eyes. I don’t know how long I sat there. I was in a daze. I still couldn’t think or move for that matter. It was like I was paralyzed. Finally I came back to my senses – sort of – and began to realize where I was again. I heard noises outside. They were still away from the tent so I knew that no one was coming in anytime soon. Then I looked down at my mother lying there so peacefully. All the whys and hows started to go through my mind. And the if only’s. If only I had gotten her sooner, if only Obi-Wan had listened to me and let me go. The only thing that I didn’t regret was the time that I had with your mother the lately. Then I started to think that my mother would never get a chance to get to know Padme and to love her as much as I did already.”

“With that the pain had turned to anger and the anger to hatred. That hate just built up so strong within me that it literally took over. I wasn’t thinking anymore at this point. I got up and grabbed my lightsaber and ignited and walked right out the front entrance of the tent.”
“The Tusken’s never knew that I was there. To say the least they were surprised when I stormed out of the tent. I was so angry and full of hate. Someone had to pay for what they did to my mother! I cut down the first two that came running to me. At this time the others in the camp were starting to see that something was wrong. They started running toward me. I didn’t care. Let them come – they couldn’t hurt me, I thought. As they came running to me I just kept cutting them down as they came close enough to me. There was so much chaos going on. I didn’t notice it then. I was so full of anger and hate for these beings that I just kept going after them. Even the ones that were trying to flee. When I saw that they were running away I thought to myself ‘now’s that’s not going to happen.’ I used the Force and got in front of them, they were so surprised they didn’t know what hit them. At this point I was being driven on pure animal adrenaline. I didn’t let one of them live.” Anakin’s head was down as he was confessing this. Tears were running down his face. It was so hard to tell this. He could barely get the words out. He couldn’t look at any of them. He knew that this was it. He’d be cast out for sure when they found this out. After a second he added, “yes, even the women and children. To me they were animals and I slaughter them like animals.”

Anakin lifted his head and looked around. He didn’t know who to look at first. He looked over at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan’s mouth just hung open in surprise. He didn’t know what to say. He was shocked. He had no clue that this had happened. He looked over at Yoda. Yoda just looked at Anakin with a knowing sadness. He knew something had happened that day. He felt it in the Force. He knew it was bad. Very bad, to have felt such strong feelings from Anakin. Anakin was surprised to see Yoda’s look. He had thought that he would have been appaled at him as he was sure that Obi-Wan was at that moment. Then Anakin hesitantly looked over at Luke and Leia. They were stunned and Leia had tears running down her face. He wondered if they would ever forgive him. And this was just the beginning.

Leia was the first to speak up, “You killed them all?” “Yes”, Anakin replied, “I did.” “Well, I guess I can’t ask why. That’s pretty obvious. But wow, all of them. I have to be honest. I didn’t know what to expect. But I didn’t think the ‘dark’ times started until you turned to Vader.” “To be honest. I had had an anger problem all my life. Not so much when I was younger but as I got older. I remember Yoda saying when I was nine that there was much fear in me and clouded my future was. The biggest thing was that I was afraid to lose those I love. And it started with leaving my mother at nine years old to join the Jedi. I remember being on a mission with Obi-Wan and we saw a dead star. I asked him what it was and he said that it was a dead stars. I was surprised. Stars die, I thought? Obi-Wan looked at me and said ‘Everything dies, Anakin, even stars’. That hit me hard. I couldn’t bare to lose those I love. I never did well with the ‘no attachments’ rule obviously.” Anakin looked around at everyone, “Please don’t think that I’m justifying my actions. I’m not. I was so angry and I didn’t have the sense enough to let go of the anger and loss and take control of my emotions. It was like I was a machine put on auto-pilot and I kept going until they were all dead.”

[padme]

He looked back over at Luke, “Luke?” Anakin said. Luke just looked at him. He was still trying to digest it all. He didn’t know what to think or say even. “I don’t know what to say. I’m still trying to digest what you just said. Yes, I’m surprised. When ever anyone spoke about you it was always with high esteem. I guess that’s how I always saw you as some perfect man. With no flaws or imperfections. I know that’s not true, because none of us are perfect in any way. If your asking ‘do I hate you’. No, I don’t hate you. I’m just stunned, that’s all.” Leia was knodding her head in agreement, “Neither do I”, she said.

Relieved Anakin took a deep breath and looked over at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan had gotten over his shock and had finally closed his mouth. Now there were tears running down his face. “I have to be honest, Anakin. I’m shocked. But I’m also very saddened. Sad, yes, for what happened and the slaughter of all the raiders. But really more sad that I wasn’t there for you. I find myself wondering if I could have done something different. I know you were having a hard time but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this. I am so sorry Anakin, as I said 25 years ago, I have failed you.” Anakin was stunned. This was not the response he expected from him. “No”, he said, “I have failed you. All of you. This is not your fault at all, Obi-Wan. This was of my own choice. Like I said I was never able to ‘let things go’. You know that.”

Just then Yoda spoke up, “Young Skywalker, that night in pain you were, I knew.” Anakin said, “You did? How?” “Meditating I was, and hit me it did. The pain. Heard did I also Qui-Gon’s voice. Told you to stop he did.” “Yes, master, now that you mention that I did hear him. I ignored it then. But as time went on it came back to me and I realized that it was Qui-Gon I heard that night. I never understood what it meant. I haven’t heard him since.” “One with the force, Qui-Gon is”, Yoda said, “That is how we are here now. Studied with him in exile I had.” “So this is not a surprise to you then, what I did?” Anakin asked Yoda. “No, it is not. Something bad happened I knew. Tell me you would in your time. Not mine.” Yoda replied.

Anakin just sat there. Stunned and numb. He didn’t know what to think. The others just left him alone. They knew that he needed time to gather himself together again. And to accept this ‘acceptance and forgiveness’ that he had been given, one in which he didn’t think he would get. One he knew that he definitely didn’t deserve.


End of Chapter 7